Here's a laugh

 
 
 
 
 
 
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Here's a laugh

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Posted: 27.03.2020  ·  #1
ntg
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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 27.03.2020  ·  #2
Quote by baguette

To help lighten things while locked in I'll start with this





There is always one 👍😂

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 28.03.2020  ·  #3
Not funny same happened to mine 😁


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 28.03.2020  ·  #4
Be careful if you're exercising at home.
[youtube]

[/youtube]

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 29.03.2020  ·  #5
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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 30.03.2020  ·  #6
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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 30.03.2020  ·  #7
Man walks into a bar and lays 500 on the table and says 'I bet the 500 that no-one in here can drink ten pints straight down one after the other', and Irishman says 'I will take that bet but need 10 minutes before I do'. The Irishman walks out the pub and comes back after 10 minutes, goes to the ten beers and drinks them all down and picks up the 500. The man says 'you won that fair and square, but where did you go for the 10 minutes', the Irishman said 'to the Pub across the road, I wanted to make sure I could do it'.


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 30.03.2020  ·  #8
😂😂😂


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Here's a Laugh

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Posted: 30.03.2020  ·  #9
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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 30.03.2020  ·  #10
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Here's a Laugh

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Posted: 30.03.2020  ·  #11
The classic one or two RRs



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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 30.03.2020  ·  #12
Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went out yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Colour of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant:
Colour of hair?

Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can’t remember.

Sergeant:
What was she wearing?

Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:
She went in my Audi

Sergeant:
What kind of Audi was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
Audi A6 Avant Black Edition,
Ambient Lighting pack - A6, Front and outer rear heated seats, Valcona leather - Lunar silver + super sport seats, 3 spoke heated sports leather multifunction steering wheel with paddle shift, LED Matrix headlights with high beam assist, Pearlescent paint, Audi drive select, Audi Parking system plus with front and rear sensors, Audible and visual fasten seat belt warning - front and rear, Cruise control, Driver's information system, MMI SD card Navigation, Mobile telephone preparation, PAS, Service interval indicator, 3 point seatbelts on all seats, ABS-EBD, ASR traction control, Curtain airbags, Driver and passenger airbags, Driver-front passenger side airbags, Electromechanical Parking brake, Electronic stability control, Front passenger airbag deactivation, Hill hold assist, Tyre pressure monitoring system, Warning triangle and first aid kit, Anti theft alarm, Anti-theft wheel bolts, Immobiliser, Keyless Start, Remote central locking, Audi music interface, Auxiliary input socket, DAB digital radio module, MMI Radio plus with CD player and bluetooth interface, SD card slot, USB connection, 12V power in rear centre console, 4 way electric lumbar support, 4 zone climate control, Aluminium door sill trims, Black cloth headlining, Double cargo floor, Electric front seats + driver memory, Front centre armrest, Front head restraints, Front-rear floor mats, Height adjustable front seats, Isofix front passenger and rear seat preparation, Jack and tool kit, Load lashing points, Luggage compartment cover, Luggage rails, Perforated leather gearknob, Rear headrests, Split folding rear seat, Auto dimming rear view mirror, Automatic headlights + automatic windscreen wipers, Body coloured bumpers, Body coloured door mirrors and handles, Body coloured roof spoiler, Door sill trims with S line logo, Electric front-rear windows, Headlight washers, High gloss black door mirrors, High gloss black finish B pillar, High gloss black triangular aperture at rear door, LED daytime running lights, LED rear lights, Light sensor, Platinum grey front lip spoiler, Privacy glass (to rear of B post), Rain sensor, Rear wiper, Alcantara door trim, Piano black finish inlay, Space saver spare wheel, Black Styling pack - A6 Avant, Non smoking pack - A6, Diesel particulate filter

(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)

Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Audi


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 31.03.2020  ·  #13
During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.

I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shite golfer."


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Nostalgia

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #14
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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #15
Great post Martin....Brought back lovely childhood memories...The gun caps were my favourite :up:

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #16
I remember them all Martin, that’s for sure!


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #17
Anyone remember Patsy Pops from the 60's and 70's???? Most amazing ice pop you'd ever taste :up:

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #18
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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #19
Aww patsy pops oh the memories.. they were my cravings when I expecting our first child.,
'How many do you want' says Dave,
'get me 6 of them' says me, and I ate them all at 11pm and no our daughter isn't called Patsy 😊

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #20
Quote by Whelaneil

Aww patsy pops oh the memories.. they were my cravings when I expecting our first child.,
'How many do you want' says Dave,
'get me 6 of them' says me, and I ate them all at 11pm and no our daughter isn't called Patsy 😊


They were something else alright Eilish :up:


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #21
Them bastarding pedals are my prevailing memory. Doing something you weren’t supposed to. Jumping up on the bike. Pedalling off like your life depends on it ( it did) and missing the pedal with your second foot. I still have the scars


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #22
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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #23
Used to cut the caps as small as possible ,fill a large nut with them and screw a bolt into both ends as tight as I could. Made a big bang when you threw it

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #24
Quote by TommyS

Used to cut the caps as small as possible ,fill a large nut with them and screw a bolt into both ends as tight as I could. Made a big bang when you threw it


yep....Did the same and when we didnt have caps, we shaved the red tops of matches (The brown tops didnt work ) into the nut chamber and that made an almighty bang too!


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #25
Quote by panda

Great post Martin....Brought back lovely childhood memories...The gun caps were my favourite :up:


I remember putting a couple of caps between two bolts joined together by a nut. when you threw the contraption on the ground it made a great bang as the caps went off.
I also remember the reel to reel tape recorders before the cassette was invented.

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #26
I remember cutting open shotgun cartridges from my fathers supply,, packing them into a bit of box section into which we had drilled a hole. Propped it between two concrete blocks, some idiot dropped a lighted match into the hole.... and ran like hell. BOOM 💥

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #27
We took it a step further. When we got tired of an old airfix WW2 bomber, it would be suspended from the washing line with bits of wire. A banger was inserted or sellotaped to it (insertion was more spectacular).
Light the banger and fire the plane along the nylon coated washing line.
Great fun, and an acceptable risk in those days (mid 1960s).

Davy


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #28
Airfix....More great childhood memories :up:


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #29
Quote by Daffysparks

I remember cutting open shotgun cartridges from my fathers supply,, packing them into a bit of box section into which we had drilled a hole. Propped it between two concrete blocks, some idiot dropped a lighted match into the hole.... and ran like hell. BOOM 💥


Being city boys we hadn't access to shotgun cartridges but we got some sort of weed killer or fertiliser (can't remember which) from the local garden supplies shop and mixed in some sugar, put the mixture in a bit of pipe with a hole in the middle. With both ends close it made a BIG bang, with only one end closed we had an out of control rocket o.O

Anyone remember thunder up the alley :-/ or was it just a Cork thing

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #30
Quote by panda

Airfix....More great childhood memories :up:


And let's not forget Meccano, original stuff from the '60s is worth thousands now, I should have kept mine.

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #31
I would guess that it was 10/10-20. Fertiliser if used correctly. Weed killer if not. An exceptional Big Bang in certain circumstances. Lest said I think.

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #32
Thanks guys but ‘caps’ was well, I haven’t heard that word for years. It practically brings a tear to my eye.

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 01.04.2020  ·  #33
Quote by baguette

Quote by panda

Airfix....More great childhood memories :up:


And let's not forget Meccano, original stuff from the '60s is worth thousands now, I should have kept mine.


Always wanted a Meccano set but Santy never brought me one :(


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 02.04.2020  ·  #34
I thought only me and my childhood friends were the only explosive experts in the country, seems like we were all at it , I can't remember how we knew how to put this stuff together,we blew holes in walls, I'd forgotten all this until this thread started 😂

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 02.04.2020  ·  #35
Awwww. What are you doing still up. I am looking for an excuse to get another beer. But I need compatriots 😬

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 02.04.2020  ·  #36
Quote by panda



Always wanted a Meccano set but Santy never brought me one :(



Ah sure the new van is close enough 😂😂

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 02.04.2020  ·  #37
Quote by eirebus

I thought only me and my childhood friends were the only explosive experts in the country, seems like we were all at it , I can't remember how we knew how to put this stuff together,we blew holes in walls, I'd forgotten all this until this thread started 😂


Oh... I know how I knew. Think back... you do too. It seems a stupid notion now but there you go. Never ever want to go back there though. Especially now, it all seems so pointless 😞


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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 02.04.2020  ·  #38
Quote by panda

Anyone remember Patsy Pops from the 60's and 70's???? Most amazing ice pop you'd ever taste :up:


Heard my Dad reminiscing about them alright John😉😆

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Here's a laugh

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Posted: 02.04.2020  ·  #39
Quote by eirebus

I thought only me and my childhood friends were the only explosive experts in the country, seems like we were all at it , I can't remember how we knew how to put this stuff together,we blew holes in walls, I'd forgotten all this until this thread started 😂


An-Fo was and is a widely used mining and farm exosive.simple and easily got on most farms.

The local "expert" at the end of our road, found the best effect came when you packed the mix in the handles of an old push bike, he will be remembered to this day,When the fuse didn't light until he picked it up.
He spent the rest of his life working with 1 and 1/2 hands and problems shaving around the scars.🤕👉

@baguette do you remember the stinging in your hands when you tightent the bolts too much.?
We used to wire the bolts together because it was hard to find anywhere to Nick a couple of decent bolts.😁

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Re: Here's a laugh

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Posted: 02.04.2020  ·  #40
Quote by TommyS

Used to cut the caps as small as possible ,fill a large nut with them and screw a bolt into both ends as tight as I could. Made a big bang when you threw it


And now there called pipe bombs 😂😂

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