50 shades of Grey poem

The missus bought a Paperback
Down W H Smiths on Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
T’was “fifty shades of grey”.

Well I just left her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down on the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
And she’s eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
But things then went from bad to worse;
When she toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple of minutes later;
Then put her teeth back in and said
That I had to dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
Cos I’d just spent months in traction
For the last complaint I’d muttered.

She stood there nude, and naked like;
Then bent forward just a bit ….
So I thought ..what the hell.. moved in,
and stood upon her t**!

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!

Well readers, I can tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,….
Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.