What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
Close the door
*********************
How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Three, if you slice them very thinly.
**********************
How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
We don't know, its never happened
**********************
Why do men get married?
So they don't have to hold their stomachs in anymore.
*************************
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
***********************
Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
***********************
What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.
*******************
What did God say after she made Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."
*******************
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
******************
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.
*******************
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
*******************
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
***************
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?
A widower.
***************
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
*****************
Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?
He wouldn't ask for directions.
Close the door
*********************
How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Three, if you slice them very thinly.
**********************
How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
We don't know, its never happened
**********************
Why do men get married?
So they don't have to hold their stomachs in anymore.
*************************
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
***********************
Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
***********************
What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.
*******************
What did God say after she made Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."
*******************
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
******************
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're married.
*******************
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
*******************
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
***************
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?
A widower.
***************
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
*****************
Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?
He wouldn't ask for directions.