Floods and other things

Are you sweating while putting fuel in you car ?. Feeling sick when paying for it ?.

You've got Carowner Virus

I had to fire myself today from wax and polishing the van, I didn't like my attitude and also found myself asleep on the job, does anyone know a replacement for me

But first ask yourself if you really want to continue with the job.
if the answer is yes.
Then maybe apologise to the boss, for your tardy attitude yesterday and you intend to be more proactive in the future, if he will reconsider your dismissal,
If the answer is no.
Tell him to stick his scabby looking van, and you can find a lot better things to be doing with your time.

Floods and other things Gotta Laugh,
Pick whitg topic fits best,
After many hours of negotiations, I received my new contract,?
You can include it in your Christmas quiz, or discuss it with you buddies offer a pint.
If you come up with a figure for what I will have to pay, do let me know and I'll include it further correspondence

Maybe at the conception, certainly not the birth, which is what the meme depicts. 🤪

This is brilliant: 1. Teaching Maths In 1970:

A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100...
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980:

A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990:

A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000:

A logger sells a lorryload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005:

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands.

Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the
logger cuts down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2010:

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
offensive to religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach
of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could
cut something.. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without
incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence
and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal.
His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government
agencies.. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100
because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his
wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is
arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and
fined a further £100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down
the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash.
They also have a departure BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and leave
behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped
rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is
arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced
£12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government
contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make
£20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the
state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2015:

A logger doesn't sell a lorry load of timber because he can't get a
loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their
money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime
mortgages in America and lost the lot, with only some government money
left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and
the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry,
however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the
emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put
it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and
send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves
and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is
easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their
holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh
girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a
bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is
forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as
Bonuses are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out
and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.

You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2025:

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة

> الانتاج 80 م

Oooo the excitement visitors must feel.

This is a great little country, we will all buy electric cars, stop heating our homes with Oil and Gas, and save the world, .