Puns for Educated Minds

 
 
 
 
 
 
Adriasonic
Love's the Craic
Avatar
Gender: n/a
Location: North West
Age: 73
Posts: 197
Registered: 04 / 2012
My Motorhome: Adria Matrix Supreme
Base Vehicle: Fiat Ducato 2.2
Subject:

Puns for Educated Minds

 · 
Posted: 18.03.2017  ·  #1
Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an air plane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.


Ally
Founder
Avatar
Gender:
Location: Muckamore, Antrim
Age: 55
Homepage: motorhomecraic.com
Posts: 32599
Registered: 08 / 2011
My Motorhome: Lunar Roadstar 780
Base Vehicle: Fiat 2.8 JTD
Subject:

Re: Puns for Educated Minds

 · 
Posted: 18.03.2017  ·  #2
Brilliant


CHAUSSON
Eat's Sleep's craic
Avatar
Gender:
Location: Tipperary
Posts: 6813
Registered: 02 / 2012
My Motorhome: Knaus Sport Ti 700 UFB Silverline
Base Vehicle: Renault Master 150 dci Quickshift
Subject:

Re: Puns for Educated Minds

 · 
Posted: 19.03.2017  ·  #3
Very, very good. 😊


Selected quotes for multi-quoting:   0

Registered users in this topic

Currently no registered users in this section

The statistic shows who was online during the last 5 minutes. Updated every 90 seconds.